Twice Daily

by Cosmicity

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1.
Dry mouth. Night sweats. Moderate to severe. Chest pain. Hair loss. Your doctor knows just what to do. Here’s a prescription for you. For qualified buyers or very good liars this limited time offer is selling out quick. Hurry in to your dealer Or state-licensed healer to see if Cosmicity is right for you. Headache. Fever. Rarely resulting in death. Nausea. Tremors. Your doctor knows just what to do. Here’s that prescription for you. Seek medical attention for increased affection or allergic reaction to feeling so good. Consult your physician Or well-trained magician to see if Cosmicity is right for you. Swallow it down Digest it good You’ll soon forget Just as you should Eat what you want and you’ll still lose the weight Though these statements aren’t backed by the FDA. Remission is possible though maybe not probable still, you’re desperate enough to have listened this long consult a professional or a friend who seems rational to see if Cosmicity is right for you.
2.
Let’s get infected. Know what I mean? Let’s get infested. Flush with disease. We’re going down, down, down… Let’s go get corrupted Vitals interrupted Do it because change is always good. Let’s get conditioned. Clean out our heads. They’ll make decisions for us instead. Just let it go, go, down… This will make things easy. Who cares what they’re feeling? We don’t have to pretend anymore. Let’s get disgusting and disfigured steeped with lies or truth rejiggered. Let the poison be injected. All that’s broken gets corrected. Let’s get infected. I think we should Let’s be digested It feels so good Let’s ride it down, down, down… Now we’ve got it easy Who cares if they’re breathing? Kindness doesn’t matter anymore. Let’s get infected until we’re doomed. Let’s get digested. Let’s be consumed.
3.
I’m writing this song in a Target parking lot. Just 20 minutes alone - that’s what I’ve got. Spit out a few words - pretend they’ll be heard. Keep propping up this fantasy to deal with my reality. No one knows me anymore. I don’t matter anymore. Did I ever? Or was it never? I can’t believe I still don’t know. What’s she supposed to tell me - that she hates what I’m making? When she hears me sing now it kinda sounds like I’m faking? What once was so charming is almost alarming. Her dreamer, as he ages, has gotten lost between the pages. No one knows me anymore. I don’t matter anymore. Did I ever? Or was it never? I can’t believe I still don’t know Every step I’ve taken is that pointless sort of effort that goes nowhere. Like a treadmill. All I ever wanted was to have a voice that mattered but I failed. Completely failed. My life is just fine by any typical measure. I have regular things. There’s occasional pleasure. But I’m an inaudible man. I wear an invisible suit. More null than void. More stem than root. No one knows me anymore. I don’t matter anymore. Did I ever? Or was it never? I can’t believe I still don’t know
4.
I have wasted my life so devoted to you. Carving off pieces of my soul has taken such a toll. Don’t you understand? That love was all I had to give and now it’s gone. My love was all I had to give. You took it all. My voice was never heard. You didn’t grasp a single word. And this has done no better. Each phrase falls like a feather - weightlessly. That love was all I had to give and now it’s gone. My love was all I had to give. You took it all. The love we have is a finite supply. If it isn’t returned we wither and die. Here I am starving. I’m dust and sand. I know you see me crumbling right where I stand. My love was all I had to give. You took it all. That love was all I had to give. My love was all I had to give. You took it all.
5.
For Good 03:35
I’ve thought about it. and I’ve waited long enough. One night soon I’m gonna give you up for good. Can’t be without it. But you just won’t fight for me. One night soon I’m gonna close my heart for good. It breaks my heart when you politely ignore me just killing time until you head up to bed. Sometimes I think that you just slightly deplore me. With just a touch you seem to fill up with dread. How many times have I made my plea? No, I can’t believe you still don’t know what I need. I’ve thought about it. and I’ve waited long enough. One night soon I’m gonna give you up for good. Can’t be without it. But you just won’t fight for me. One night soon I’m gonna close my heart for good. Don’t get me wrong. I want to stay. You own my soul so it’s not easy to just walk away. But I’m in pain. And this is key: If you can’t show your love you’ll lose my heart entirely. Don’t you see that there’s a forcefield around you pushing back every gesture I make. Why can’t you ever let affection affect you? Why don’t you even try to reciprocate? I’ve spent so many days begging down on my knees that I’ve worn perfect holes in every pair of my jeans. I’ve thought about it. and I’ve waited long enough. One night soon I’m gonna give you up for good. Can’t be without it. But you just won’t fight for me. One night soon I might just close my heart for good.
6.
7.
The Comfort 03:24
The face in this mirror looks tired and fat and grey. I feel sorry for the owner in a well-that’s-not-me sort of way. I move through my morning thunder and storming. Under crashing clouds of denial I’m soaked with the truth for a while. I hate the money that bought this house. I hate my office. I just want out. I hate the comfort. It makes me numb. I hate the person that I’ve become. I know it’s wrong, wrong, wrong to think financially. But I can’t control the fear that’s taken hold of me. We need our air conditioning. We need our 4K programming. The risk of change is way too high. I really just can’t disrupt our lives, but… I hate the money that bought this house. I hate my office. I just want out. I hate the comfort. It makes me numb. I hate the person that I’ve become. And the worst part is “they” say I’m doing it right. I’m a living example - all shiny and bright. I’m that upper middle class with the car and the toys but tonight I’d give it back for some lust, sweat and noise. I hate the money that bought this house. I hate my office. I just want out. I hate the comfort. It makes me numb. I hate the person that I’ve become.
8.
Geometry 04:12
I crave I lust for just one word I burn I thirst for just one sign I pine for truth Or a version you believe So I can know relief - at last. Add it up. Is it real? Can you quantify how you feel? Show your work. Find the root. What’s your formula? Where’s your proof? I’m starved deprived of just one touch one prompt one cue one simple clue would do. Don’t you want more than the monotony? Let’s break down our geometry - at last. Add it up. Is it real? Can you quantify how you feel? Show your work. Find the root. What’s your formula? Where’s your proof? Your surfaces and lines. Your angles changing all the time. I wonder, are you really mine? Or just a tangent or a sine that says goodbye? That reads farewell? That means so long? That shows we’re done? That claims you’re gone? Add it up. Is it real? Can you quantify how you feel? Show your work. Find the root. What’s your formula? Where’s your proof?
9.
Yesterday I woke up dead. It seemed like life, but only in my head. When I’d parse out situations I could see the degradation. The love was artificial so my death is quite official. Yesterday I ceased to live. I found that I had nothing left to give. I just could not make a difference in this time of no forgiveness. My shouts disolved to silence. Words of peace were changed to violence. I couldn’t call that living so I just accepted death. I checked with the officials. They agreed that this was best. Yesterday I failed to thrive. I’d say it’s ‘cause I’m not alive. You can see a mortal’s purpose - something more beyond the surface - but in my case it’s quite glaring they don’t see past what I’m wearing. Yesterday I woke up numb. Right away I knew that I was done. When I tried to use some reason I was cast out for the treason. Put to death without a trial. Pulled the lever with a smile I no longer live here. There’s no reason to exist. I’m incredibly well-rested. Truth be told, they quite insist. I’m no longer breathing. I don’t bother anymore. I’m no longer valid with the assholes keeping score… with those assholes keeping score… with those bastards keeping score… with those bastards keeping score.
10.
Plenty 03:18
Stay calm. Don’t freak out. It’s just your life. Each day - each bargain - at such a low price. You heed what they tell you and buy what they sell you. The ease has compelled you to stay where you are. You’re smart. You get it. Act like you’re dumb. Live safe. Be certain. That’s how it’s done. You’ll say that you’ve made it but your dreams have just faded. So you’ve become jaded and settled for this. Your days when compounded just leave you dumbfounded. You didn’t quite know it was as bad as this sounds and well now it’s too late to become someone great so you’ve settled for empty - declared that it’s plenty. You say life is lovely. You’re making good money. The future’s so sunny you can’t see a thing.
11.
Warm 03:44
I feel your fingers as they brush my hair. I hear your whisper - your breath upon my ear. Ooh. Ooh. So warm. As I move closer I feel you sway your hips. That move destroys me - so all resistance slips. Ooh. Ooh. So warm. Time just melted. We both felt it. All I really need is to be loved like this. All I really need is to be loved like this. As we’re touching God is blushing. All I really need is to be loved like this. All I really need is to be loved like this. I’m moving slowly. I need to make this last. Stockpile the feeling before it’s in the past. Ooh. Ooh. So warm. Stars are falling - comets crawling. All I really want is to be loved like this. All I really want is to be loved like this. Time is nothing. Death is bluffing. All I really want is to be loved like this. All I really want is to be loved like this. Everything is amplified. All my fear is nullified. If your love is suicide bring on the cyanide. Ooh. Ooh. So warm.

about

For adults with moderate to severe SD (synthpop deficiency).

credits

released October 17, 2018

(c) 2018 Mark Nicholas (BMI)
(p) 2018 Dirty Electronic (BMI)

All songs written and performed by Mark Nicholas.
Additional backing vocals on "Moderate to Severe" and "Warm" performed by Sara Nicholas.

Recorded at Sedgwick Station.

Audio Mastering by Joe LaPorta at Sterling Sound.

Art Direction by Jamie Latendresse Design.

Quality Assurance Team: David Humphrey, Mark Kilborn, and Sara Nicholas.

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Cosmicity Detroit

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