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about

One of only two albums released by Mark Nicholas under his real name (as opposed to his usual Cosmicity pseudonym). In 2007 Mark temporarily broke away from the spacey sound of Cosmicity in favor of a grittier and harder hitting electronic style, complete with some more raw lyrics and content than Cosmicity is typically known for.

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released January 1, 2007

(c) Mark Nicholas (p) Dirty Electronic

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Track Name: Green
Hey look, I know it's crazy, but I'm just way too clean. I need to fuck this up. I need to turn it green. Oh sure, we have a pattern... and that's all very nice. But time has made us lazy. I say we feed this vice. Lets go... come on, shall we? You know you want to want me. Get free and watch her touch me. I'll make you wet with envy. Oh shit, it makes me crazy when you won't play along. You have to know we need this. You have to let her do this. What's that? You say it's stupid? You say it makes you sick? But I know it makes you flutter. I know it makes you stick. Lets go... come on, shall we? You know you want to want me. Get free and watch her touch me. I'll make you wet with envy.
Track Name: Backlash
You've chased me down. You've found me out. You've pulled my hair. You've made me shout obscenities at the top of my lungs 'cause it's so damn fun... 'cause it's so damn fun. Am I drowning in the things I've said? Have I lost you in the doubts I've had? Will you backlash now, or offer some proof, that book you are quoting is absolute truth? You've seen me push. You've helped me shove. I've taken more, though I've had enough. I've bitten off heads. I've eaten my young. I've acted on instinct, though you said I have none. Am I rubbing you in just the wrong place? Did I blaspheme you with my lack of taste? Will you backlash now, or will you, in fact, reveal your mercy and leave me intact? You've made me fight then watched me fail. Just waiving my arms through the bars on your jail. I've rallied my strength, still chained to this wall... still screaming cold truth, but you hear nothing. Am I asking for a mouth full of soap? Have I done something to offend your pope? Will you backlash now, or will you explain, just how the almighty is making these claims?
Track Name: Perverse
I've got this mirror that I look in sometimes, just to see what you see... just to see what scares you when you look at me. I know you like it. Yeah, I know you love it. Even though it shakes you. Even as you scream that I'm no good. 'Cause I'm perverse. Clean in reverse and it feels good. Yeah I'm perverse. It could be worse. I could be like you. You're slipping under a wicked spell of boredom... tired of all those morals... tired of all those rules that you repeat. I know you hate it. Yeah, I know you loathe it. Even though you preach it. Even as you snitch me out to God. 'Cause I'm perverse. Clean in reverse and it feels good, Yeah I'm perverse. It could be worse. I could be like you. It's true that I think some unthinkable thoughts. I live without fear. I don't care if I'm caught. I don't live under your blanket of rules... soft fabric for control of a bed full of fools. Sleeping and snoring your short life away. Oblivious to anything that's not your way. So open your book. Recite your prayer. You can live without challenge, but i'm taking the dare. 'Cause I'm perverse. Clean in reverse and it feels good. Yeah I'm perverse. It could be worse. I could be like you.
Track Name: I'm Trying To Impress You
I'm trying to impress you. Is it working? Are you thinking about me now? I'm trying to impress you. Is it working? Are you thinking about me now? What's new to a girl like you? What's new to a girl like you? Your eyes just can't see me. I wish I knew why. Your eyes just don't see me. I need to know why. I'm trying to impress you. Is it working? Are you thinking about me now? Your eyes just can't see me. I wish I knew why. Your eyes just don't see me. I need to know why.
Track Name: Little Goth Girl
My little goth girl. She doesn't know how sweet she is. She dresses up to scare me, but all she does is dare me to lift buttons from her corset... smell the clove in her hair... Lost in her extensions I pretend that I don't care so she won't think that I’m romantic, but rather dark instead. And with this slight adjustment she should love me, but as I've said... It must stay my little secret that I adore the pale undead of my perfect little goth girl. Precious goth girl. Wears black lipstick and a solemn frown. She thinks that she intimidates, but her darkness just initiates the relentless pure devotion of a lonely normal guy who wears eyeliner to the club. And you may just wonder why. It’s so she won’t think I’m romantic, but rather dark instead. And with this slight adjustment she might love me, but as I’ve said... It must stay my little secret that I adore the pale undead of my perfect little goth girl.
Track Name: Coming Clean
Each night before I sleep, I think and sometimes freak out loud about my life. Each time I think of us... the things we don't discuss... those neat, unwrinkled sheets. And now isn't quite what we projected. I know tonight won't go as planned. But I want to anyway. Even awkward, it's still good. I want to anyway. It still feels like it we should. You took that Cosmo quiz. It said that things like this are fine. We'll heal with time. That's great. That's good to hear. Sometimes I live and fear the truth is far more dire. And now isn't quite what we projected. I know tonight won't go as planned. But I want to anyway. Even awkward, it's still good. I want to anyway. It still feels like it we should. Look into my eyes, you will find an excuse. Just because it's weird doesn't mean I don't want to. If you see something wrong I'll just turn out the lights. I know it won't change a thing, but it'll work for tonight. And now isn't quite what we projected. I know tonight won't go as planned. But I want to anyway. Even awkward, it's still good. I want to anyway. It still feels like it we should.
Track Name: I Wish
I wish I were skinny... all wirey and neat. 'Cause then I'd wear vintage and make you feel weak. I wish I had charm like my charming friend Jack. Maybe then I could tempt you, or at least make you laugh. I wish I were more than these words reveal. I wish I were sedate... all smooth and elite. Not twitchy and glitchy, but calm and complete. I wish I were British... maybe then I'd seem clever. At least I'd have an accent. A fair trade for shitty weather. (You'll never have, you’ll never have, you’ll never have, you’ll never have the things that you desire.) I wish I were more than these words reveal. I wish the world were black and white. I wish I could say what I mean. I wish I were a little less bitter... maybe then you'd reconsider. I wish I saw things clearly or you could see what I've seen. I wish I could stop scrubbing my skin, but I'm sure it's still not clean. I wish I had gotten on my knees. I wish I was better at apologies or at least, somehow, maybe, the kind of guy who wouldn't need one now. I wish you could see inside of my head... my world of intentions, things I should have said. I wish you could feel the heat in my hands... How my body just knows you and my blood understands. I wish I were more than these words reveal.
Track Name: The Measure Of Pleasure
Think on it now, just what do you want? You want to close your eyes and be back there again. Confused as you were, you were in love. The minutes were raw, sad and elusive, but the days and the months... those were conclusive. Which brings you to now, just how you are. So, how are you? So, how are you now? Sleep on it now, just how do you dream? You build elaborate sets so you can redesign the frame of mind when you weren't happy. At least you were real, lost and alone. Your romantic lifestyle: the perfect exile. Which brings you to now, just how you are. So, how are you? So, how are you now? Oh you know just what the problem is here, but you wouldn't admit it to anyone near 'cause you walk at a pace that must always have grace. But the truth of the matter is you've never been sadder, and hiding that's madder than any mad hatter. But you climb into bed and forget what's been said again. Blinking and skipping and sprinting and tripping down memory lane 'til it drives you insane, well, it's just not the way that you used to behave. And we all see it coming... the shifting... the dumbing... the swearing... the thumbing your nose at the people who want you to be who you know you could be again. Ponder it now, what could you regret? You've lost so little, depending on your measure. Perhaps a slight drop in the measure of pleasure. But the things on your list - those right at the top - you've checked them all off so there's no need to stop and wonder out loud just how you are... So, how are you? So, how are you now?
Track Name: Selective Memory Loss
Static stocking feet on fuzzy beige plush shag. Talking through commercials and the standard sitcom lag. A shock to my system would be so incredibly welcome, but the room just keeps on waiting. The light just keeps on fading. Tonight I won't sleep. I don't want to dream. I don't own this life. I don't know what it means. Tonight I won’t move. I don’t want to feel. I don’t know this place. I don’t know what’s real. Faking that I'm tired so I'm left alone to pout. Laying on the edge of comfort, sagging soft with doubt. A reason to revolt would be everything I need, but the air is stale and silent. The darkness somehow violent. Tonight I won't sleep. I don't want to dream. I don't own this life. I don't know what it means. Tonight I won’t move. I don’t want to feel. I don’t know this place. I don’t know what’s real. Won't you show me how my choices have made me a whore? Can't you dare me to stop and not do this anymore? Even casual suggestions, or part-time interventions, would be better than the quiet of this pointless self-confession. Tonight I won't sleep. I don't want to dream. I don't own this life. I don't know what it means. Tonight I won’t move. I don’t want to feel. I don’t know this place. I don’t know what’s real.
Track Name: Eine Kleine Booty Musik
I want you, so just feel it. Come on come on just work it down beside me where you’ll get it. Come on come on just take it where it needs to go. That’s right. That’s right. I know you feel me. I know you feel me now.